Recovering from the Heat of Grand Rounds

I'm still recovering from all the work of putting Grand Rounds together. It was fun, but I needed to be away from the keyboard for a few days. On Tuesday, the day Grand Rounds was posted, I got over 1,000 visits to my blog, which is a testament to how well organized this carnival is. I'm still catching up with all the comments and email I received as a result.

The days are getting hotter here on Saipan. Although we have the most stable temperature in the world, staying right around 85F year round, the sun is HOT this close to the equator, and because of typhoons, houses are built of concrete, which are ovens. The utility is limping along, with power outages rotating around the island all day long to conserve the fuel supply. At the office, we have a generator, so we can keep functioning, but at the house we're in right now, no such luck. Last night, the power went out around 8 PM. I don't think it was scheduled because it was preceded by lots of browning out of the lights. It came on briefly around 10:30 PM, but went out again for the rest of the night. We slept in the sweltering heat, with damp paper towels on us to keep us cool.

On the mend

My back is much better. It's still bad, but yesterday I didn't have any screaming episodes, and I seem to be able to move around a bit better.

We closed the clinic yesterday afternoon and took a staff outing to PIC for our first Marianas Eye Institute Olympics. I was tempted to participate, but Russ, or CEO on former PIC Clubmate, wouldn't even let me carry the clipboard. But I did get to wear one of the cool rhinestone studded caps, brought out especially for the occasion.

Last night, Mara and I went to a wedding. Our friend, Peter Loyola, who is one of the island's tennis coaches/stars, had recently become reacquainted with Dinna, the bride, while on home visit to the Philippines. Peter and Dinna were in school together from the second grade through high-school. Peter asked us to be "sponsors" of the wedding, which is a tradition in either the Filipino culture, or the Catholic church. I'm not sure which. I had to ask a few friends from both cultures about the significance and duties, and no one could really give a satisfying answer, but it seemed to be a combination of best man/maid of honor, groom's men/bride's maids, and godparents all rolled into one. There were about ten sponsors. The wedding and reception was held at Claret at Fiesta Resort. It's one of my favorite rooms on the island. It was an honor to be asked to participate in the ceremony.

Books are Here!

After spending three months floating in the Pacific Ocean, 200 copies of my book arrived on Saipan yesterday. They are available for purchase on Saipan here.

If your name is on this list, send me a quick email to check if your copy is ready for pick up.

Saipan: What I like about you

Fairly often someone contacts me about the possibility of moving to Saipan, and wants to know about the good and bad of living here. Here’s my list of the good things.

1. It’s a tropical island. The weather is beautiful. The lows in the dead of winter are in the 80’s and maybe the upper 70’s. The water has incredible colors, and the island is small enough that you’re almost always within sight of the ocean. The vegetation is lush. Life is simple. It’s the sort of place people dream of retiring to. And we get to live here. Sometimes I’ll become acutely aware of the incredible beauty around me, and just laugh with glee.
2. The sense of community. More than anything else, relationships matter here. There is a strong sense of family and of community. Everyone knows everyone, and I think that results in an element of safety that doesn’t exist in many parts of the world. Sure, there is still crime, but my kids can be out playing in the neighborhood without me thinking about it. They can wander off in the grocery store, and I don’t panic. People look out for each other. There is no anonymity, so people tend to behave better and are accountable to a larger degree than in a large impersonal community. It’s not quite Mayberry, but it’s a rare day that I walk into a store and don’t stop to talk to a few people I know.
3. Diversity. Saipan is a mish-mash of people, cultures, languages, foods, and foibles. Because of the influx of contract workers over the years, there is such a broad mix of people, that almost everyone is a minority. Besides the indigenous Chamorro and Carolinian ethnicities, there are sizable populations of Filipino’s, Chinese, Koreans, Japanese, Thais, and Bangladeshis. There is a smattering of Indian and Nepalese, a few displaced Europeans, some white people, and a few African-Americans. On most days, there are two Jamaicans on the island. If you don’t like ethnic diversity, if you think you’re right and everyone else has something to learn from you, this isn’t the place for you. If you’re from America, you’ll experience what it’s like to be a minority, and it’ll make you a better person.
4. A Great Place for Kids. All that toxic stuff that influences the minds of children and youth is a far away. It’s still accessible, but it doesn’t infuse the society and the culture. TV is not ubiquitous. Most people have no idea what last week’s episode of America’s favorite sitcom was all about (or even what the favorite one is). The cultural icons don’t permeate our lives here. Kid’s grow up without many of the mental and emotional toxins of Western society.
5. Friends. If I lived in America, my friends would be limited to people in my professional or in my social class. Here, those boundaries don’t really exist. My friends are from all walks of life, ages, ethnicities and cultural backgrounds. Over the years, they’ve included park rangers, coast guard officers, teachers, lawyers, business people, government officials and cabinet members, houseworkers, gardeners, and people flipping switches at the utility.
6. You can do anything. For some reason, Saipan is a place of self-discovery. If you have an idea, all you have to do is pursue it. If you’ve ever dreamt of being something, in Saipan it’s likely possible. I arrived as an eye surgeon and Mara as a health information specialist. I don’t think I ever thought of doing much else besides that. But, in the fifteen years that we’ve been here, we have done all of the following just by virtue of will, effort, necessity or just simple desire. We opened an eye clinic and became business owners. We founded a non-profit school to educate our children. We have served as substitute teachers, school administrators, principals and PE coaches. I’ve become a newspaper columnist and published a book. I’m becoming a stand-up comic. I’ve acted in a community play and sang in a chorus. I’ve played co-ed soccer, and I’ve tried out for the CNMI Men’s National Team. Mara opened a lei business, imported flowers from Asia and became a part of the tourism industry. And this sort of pursuit of the diverse facets of the soul is fairly typical in Saipan. If you’ve ever had an interest in something, Saipan is the place to explore it. You’ll discover interest here you never knew you had.
7. Travel. Most people live and die without a passport. My kids have a gazillion entry stamps in theirs. In our years here, we’ve traveled to China, Hong Kong, Taiwan, Japan, the Philippines, Thailand, Australia, Singapore, Bali, Papua New Guinea, and the islands of Micronesia.
8. Casual Atmosphere. You’ll never see a suit on the island. Sometimes you’ll see a tie. You’ll find people in t-shirts and shorts at all occasions – weddings, funerals, at work, in meetings of any kind, in fancy restaurants. A corollary to the casual nature of the island is that there is very little emphasis on material possessions. There is no such thing as keeping up with the Jones’. It doesn’t much matter what you drive, where you live, or what the tags on your clothes say. The symbols of materialism take a back seat here.
9. Family first. This is a double-edged sword, but it has changed me for the better. Family is more important than work. It’s not a struggle to live your life under that premise here on Saipan. In America, you may want to, but the minute you try to take off work because your kids are sick, or because your sister needs help moving, or because you want to go fishing with your brother, you’ll not be taken seriously as a member of the workforce. Your career will head into a skid. Here, it’s the norm for people to miss work for any of these reasons, and it’s actually encouraged. Why not? We say that work is not the most important thing in the world, but why not live in a way that shows we mean it? That’s the way things are here, and I think it’s a more sane way of living. Of course, things do suffer in the workplace, which can be frustrating as an employer or a co-worker, but you just try to plan for it.

All of these combine to make Saipan home.

Fantastic Fantasticks

We went and saw this production of the local theater group last night. It was excellent. The story was entertaining, and the acting and singing were quite good. Apparently, the Fantasticks is the longest running musical in history. And I had never heard of it.

Anyway, if you have a chance, catch the last show -- Sunday, February 17 at PIC. Dinner is at 6:30 PM, with the show starting at 7:30 PM. Tickets are $30 per person

Vrrrrooooom!

Toto, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore.

And we're certainly not in Saipan. My apologies to all my friends in Saipan, who are sure to weep at this sight. If you listen carefully, you can hear angels singing. Aaaaaaaah!

Turning 35

Here are a few pictures from my birthday. Mara planned a "surprise" party for me at Oleai's, where I hadn't been in at least ten years! It's great to be that close to the water. The staff got me a "vegetarian" cake. Unfortunately, we didn't take many pictures.

I Remember...

Angelo tagged me to write about 20 things I remember about Saipan, either from recently or from long ago. Here's my list.

1. I remember when calling the states cost $1.70 per minute. Mara was living in Hawaii, and I was in love, so I paid more for my phone bill than rent. (Just so as I don't get into trouble, let me clarify that I am still in love with her.)

2. I remember when La Fiesta mall was a happening place.

3. I remember getting married at the beach at the Hyatt.

4. I remember when Beach Road continued straight through American Memorial Park.

5. I remember getting one of the first email accounts on the island. I would have to call the CDC in Atlanta to download my email through my account with them.

6. I remember when prostitution had the semblance of being illegal in the CNMI... oh wait, no I don't.

7. I remember when DFS was about a quarter its current size and sat next to a dusty parking lot.

8. I remember being a government employee.

9. I remember the first time I saw footage of Saipan... a fishing show that I watched when I was living in Samoa.

10. I remember three of my children being born at CHC. (One was born in China.)

11. I remember when all the bloggers were nice.

12. I remember when soccer was small.

13. I remember thinking about leaving Saipan every year for my first few years here.

14. I remember my Dad visiting for the first time, and saying, "Okay, now I get why you won't come back to the mainland."

15. I remember five governors ago.

16. I remember when Marianas Eye Institute had one employee, and I used to answer the phones while she went to lunch.

17. I remember moving five times during my first year here.

18. I remember going back to the mainland for the first time in seven years, and realizing, "I don't know this place any more, it's no longer my home."

19. I remember a time when the government and the medical referral system were so flush with money, you could get a bone marrow transplant, just because you wanted one. Hot dog!

20. I remember a time when I didn't have to think so hard just to remember twenty things.

I tag Bev, Sean, Ken and Crystal, and anyone else who hasn't been tagged yet.

Stand Up Comedy 101 - The Funny

In my last post I discussed the Set Up. Here I'll summarize The Funny, as described by Judy Carter, in her excellent book, The Comedy Bible.

The Funny

Once you have the set-up -- the serious part -- you just need to think about how to express this in a funny way. The quickest and easiest way is through the “act out.” The Funny has two elements

1. The Act Out. This is where you act out the premise. You act out the situation in the set-up. As Judy says, “Instead of talking about someone or something, you perform it. You turn into the people or things you mentioned in the setup – actually act them out.”

It doesn’t have to be a grand performance. You just take on the attitude of the characters in the set-up. Here again is Robin William’s set-up, with the act-out to follow.

“When you have a baby, you have to clean up your act. You can’t come in drunk and go, ‘Hey, here’s a little switch. Daddy’s going to throw up on you.’”

Here is another example of a simple act-out by Steve Wright. The unstated attitude is, “You know what’s weird about babies?”

“[Premise] Babies don’t need a vacation. But I still see them at the beach. It pisses me off. [Now, here comes the Funny.] When no one’s looking, I’ll go over to a baby and ask, [act-out] ‘What are you doing here? You haven’t worked a day in your life.’”

Now, here are Judy’s set ups with the act outs. Notice that the premises have been elaborated, with more specific detail, giving a richer set up.

• [set up] Piercing is stupid. It’s painful enough just to being in a relationship hurts so much, working for a stupid boss hurts, paying taxes hurts. There is no need to add to it. in a relationship. There is no need to add to it. [act out] “Oh gee, I’m just not feeling enough pain in my life. I think I need to pierce my tongue.”
• [set up] It’s hard being pierced when you go through metal detectors at the airport. [act out] “’Buzzzz!’ [security guard] ‘Please remove all of your jewelry, miss.’ [pierced person] ‘Oh, OK! [Then act out, removing a lot of rings in weird places.] Can you help me with this one/’” {imagine where she’s pointing}

2. The Mix-Up. Although any joke can end with the act-out, you can get point out another dimension of the subject with this tool. Judy Carter states, “A good mix is where a comic connects two elements that people don’t associate with one another. The laugh comes from the way the comic connects them. It’s the ‘surprise’ element that causes laughter.”

Mixes generally start with “Can you imagine if” or “What if” and are almost always followed by another act-out.

Here is an example of a mix by Dennis Miller.

“I view a visit to the therapist in much the same way I view a visit to the hairdresser… When I leave the office my head looks great; around an hour later, it’s all f'd up and I can’t get it to look that way on my own. ‘Excuse me, doc, can I get a little mousse for my id?’”

He mixes therapist and hairdresser, and follows it with an act out of himself talking to the therapist, incorporating elements of the mix. The humor is in the surprise and the juxtaposition of unlikely elements.

That's it. That's the basic structure of putting together a solid joke for stand up comedy: The set up followed by the act-out and the mix-up. Join us on Wednesday to try out your ideas and to see the first few bits that the other comics have developed. December 12, 7:30 PM at Marianas Eye Institute on Beach Road.

Stand Up Comedy 101 - The Set Up

We had our first comedy meet-up on Wednesday night -- a great start! Five committed soon to be comics were there, and we reviewed some of the basics. I had summarized some of the key segments from Judy Carter's The Comedy Bible, which we're using as our guide. Everyone is ordering a copy, and we'll get together weekly to review our work. Our next meet-up is on Wednesday, December 12 at Marianas Eye Institute at 7:30 PM. We will be performing our material to get feedback from one another.

Here is the first part of the material I summarized. It's all taken from The Comedy Bible, which I highly recommend.

****

Humor is about insight, seeing something in a unique way. Developing as a comedian is about finding your perspective and your voice.

Any comedic material has two parts

1. The Set Up
2. The Funny

The Set Up

The Set Up is the serious part of the joke. It’s just an observation or an insight about something, expressed with a certain attitude. In fact, the set up consists of three elements

1. The topic. This is simply what the joke is about – babies, money, lint, baldness, whatever.

2. The attitude. The energy that drives a joke is the attitude of the comic regarding the topic. There are dozens of attitudes, but for the beginning comic, there are four that work the best: something is either weird, hard, scary or stupid. Ingrain these four attitudes in your mind. You have to feel this attitude while setting up the joke, and the best way to invoke the attitude is to start the joke by simply saying:

• You know what’s really weird about __________? (babies, money, lint, etc.)
• You know what’s really hard about ___________?
• You know what’s really scary about ___________?
• You know what’s really stupid about ___________?

Seasoned comics may not use these specific words, but they invoke the attitudes and imply the words. When Jay Leno says, “What’s the deal with the President?” he’s really saying “You know what’s really stupid about the President?”

3. The Premise. This is the answer to the “attitude” question. Here you are going to share your insight or observation about what’s weird, hard, scary or stupid about the topic in a very specific way. The premise is not about you. It’s a statement that your audience can relate to. A good premise is insightful and original. It’s where you get to express your unique view about something. But remember, it’s not supposed to be funny. It’s a serious observation about the world. It shouldn’t have the words, me, my, or I in it. After the audience is interested in your global observation, you can make it more specific to yourself, but it has to start broad.

Here is an example of a set up, used by Robin Williams. He doesn’t start with the question, but he is implicitly asking, “You know what’s hard about having kids?”

“When you have a baby, you have to clean up your act.”

There is nothing at all funny about that. It’s a serious observation that he has made about parenthood, about having a baby.

When you develop comedy, you start by making observations about the world. The comedic mind is alert during the mundane acts of life. Some things may strike you as weird, or hard, or scary or stupid. Just write them down. This is the soil from which the joke will grow. You don’t have to see it as funny. You just have to realize you’ve made an observation about something.

Judy Carter, in her book, the Comedy Bible, takes a topic, “Body Piercing,” and gives examples of premises on that topic. Here is what good set-ups look like:

1. Piercing is stupid. It’s painful enough just to be in a relationship. There is no need to add to it.
2. It’s hard being pierced when you go through metal detectors at the airport.
3. It’s weird to see older people with nose rings.
4. It’s scary that nose rings are now an acceptable business accessory, like cuff links or a tie clip.

Notice, again, there are just observations, statements of her opinions, her view of the facts.

Judy gives a whole checklist of making sure your premise is good, and gives examples of “hack” premises, and how to fix them.

In my next post, I'll discuss "The Funny."

Marianas Eye Blog on CNN

No kidding. I woke up early this morning and looked at my blog's tracking tools and noticed that I've already had around 40 visits this morning. That's high for me this early in the day. I check out the referral sources, and I notice that a bunch of visits are coming from the CNN website. There is a story on CNN titled, Fear of Losing Culture Fuels Immigration Debate, and at the end of the story there is a button called "From the Blogs." My piece, that I'd written for the Saipan Tribune, on Understanding the American Mind got picked up by CNN, and is listed on that section. Pretty cool.

December in Saipan

These were all taken on Sunday. I forget it gets cold anywhere. My kids have never seen snow.

Saipan Comedy Players

If you think you might be a little funny, join us on Wednesday night at Java Joe's at 7:30 PM to launch the Saipan Comedy Players (or whatever we eventually decide to call ourselves -- Club V is starting an open mic night, which they're calling "Laff Adai" so that's taken).

We're going to talk a bit about stand-up, how to be funny by constructing a good premise (which isn't funny, but just an observation that everyone can relate to), and then using tools like "the act out" and "the mix up" to make the funny part work. We might even do a few on-paper exercises.

The goal over the next few weeks is for each of us to develop a 5 to 10 minute stand-up act that will be performed as a fund-raiser. Everyone is invited to this meeting, even if you're just curious. Don't worry... but come prepared to eventually face your fear.

Committed future comedians include Brad Ruszala, Jeff Turbitt, Angelo Villagomez, Galvin Guerrero, Rick Jones and me. How about some women? How about some more ethnic diversity?

Understanding the American Mind

(My column from the Saipan Tribune, Nov 30)

America is a nation of immigrants. Almost everyone who lives on American soil traces their roots back to some poor foreigner who arrived on American shores, often with little more than a desire to purse a dream and a new life. Some, like my father, came with skills; many came with only determination. Most did not speak English. They came in waves, from around the world, and they continue to come. America became the great melting pot, each culture contributed its share to the culture of a new nation, while giving up parts of themselves to be a part of the new creation called America – a creation that continues.

The American Dream – that idea of limitless possibilities – of being able to succeed based on your own individual merit and effort – is a sacred idea in the American mind. It’s the story of the underdog, who against all odds, makes it: the guy who shows up at the dock day after day, to find work, doing anything, loading cargo, and who one day becomes the owner of the shipping line; the domestic cleaner who saves and invests her meager earnings, and before her death gives a gift of millions to a university; the kid from the ghetto who studies hard and becomes a brilliant scientist; the peanut farmer who becomes President.

These two ideas – a nation open to immigrants, and a land of dreams built by little people through hard work -- are intertwined, and deeply ingrained upon the American conscience. Any idea or act that somehow goes against these concepts strike a deep visceral chord. We cannot even begin to understand the federal policy makers until we understand these two concepts and their place in the American mind. The ideas have a history hundreds of years old in the American consciousness.

On the other hand, these two ideas are not so deeply ingrained here. In fact, in our recent history, the very ideas themselves are foreign to us. We have not had any significant immigration. Sure, we have contract workers, but not immigration in the sense of allowing people to put down roots and build for generations and to be a part of our society and government and culture. Unlike for most Americans, immigration is not part of our personal heritage.

Although life in the private sector rewards effort with success, the single largest employer – the government – relies to a large extent on a system of “who you know” rather than “what you know.” There are ceilings on advancement. And a new person in power can result in a complete change in your situation that has nothing to do with your merit. It’s the relationships that matter more. The icon of the immigrant who beats all odds to succeed, is not a dominant part of our family histories.

Thus the bewilderment with the federal perspective. We do everything we believe is required to protect our culture, which itself is not a dominant value of the ever-morphing American culture. We allow workers to enter, but not to immigrate. We pass laws that favor the hiring of our own ethnic group over others. We “reform” our labor laws, requiring aliens to exit periodically, for the expressly stated purpose of preventing them from growing roots and becoming part of the political landscape, the power base. It all makes perfect sense, and resonates with our core value of cultural preservation. We don't want to become politically alienated. We strive to protect our ethnic control over the institutions of power. But the American value and the local value smack hard against one another.

Never mind that in many ways, America is conflicted about immigration and race. The inconsistency does not negate the deep pride that many feel in having come from humble immigrant roots. And never mind that the aliens that are here didn’t arrive with promises of immigration. They have contributed greatly, and the American values seeks to find a home for them.

This is all worth bearing in mind when we sit at a table discussing issues with the representatives of the federal government. They are the sons and daughters of those immigrants who were once disenfranchised workers coming from a foreign land, and who entered America, whether literally or figuratively, beneath the lamp of the Statue of Liberty, on whose pedestal are carved these words:

“Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to me.
I lift my lamp beside the golden door.”

Let's Get Naked

I enjoy making people laugh. I think all of us do. A lot of people tell me that they enjoy my humorous writings. I had a friend who took some classes at an improv theatre, and they helped make him funnier. So, I figure, I should be able to improve my funniness. As I'm prone to do, I did some research and bought a few books about how to be funny.

The first one arrived, and it was a shocker. First of all, it says the essence of humor is insight. The funny people are the ones that have the ability to see the world a bit differently than the rest of the people on the planet. They see the ordinary things in unusual ways. And there is a formula by which an insight becomes something funny. "That's good," I think to myself, "because I think I already see things differently, so I can learn to better turn those insights into funny stuff."

Now the shocking part: if you really want to develop as a comic, even if it's just writing more humorously, you have to master stand-up comedy. Stand-up is the essence of comedy -- turning insights into laughs, and getting immediate feedback from the audience. Anyone who does any kind of humorous work has experience in stand-up. If you master stand-up, you can do any kind of comedy. "Okay," I think to myself, "that sounds a little scary." Well, that's not all. The book is about developing your comedic muscle, so the exercise on day one is to book yourself for an "open mic" for a month from now, even if you don't know jack about stand-up today.

I'm at the point in my life where I get a kick out of doing things that scare me to death, and live through them. Doing stand-up would be one of those. I've never really thought about it before, but now that I've been considering the possibility for the past week, it's got to be one of the rawest forms of nakedness there is -- standing all alone on a stage, with just a mic, and an audience daring you to make them laugh. I'm in!

But if I'm going to get naked like this, I want others to join me. Any takers? We can get together every few days to go through the steps together. One of the first things that the course requires is finding a "comedy buddy" because you can't develop material by yourself. You need to bounce ideas off of other people and get feedback on your thoughts. So, even if you don't have the guts to get on the stage, you can be a comedy buddy, and help the rest of us develop our 3 minute stand-up routines. In a month or two, we'll put on what may be Saipan's first Stand-Up night. If you want to get going now, order the book, The Comedy Bible, by Judy Carter.

So, who's going to join me? Boni? Brad? Jeff ? Angelo? Mark? Russ? Anyone else? This is an open invitation.

Flame Tree Arts Festival - Airconditioned

You missed a great event if you didn't make it to the Brilliant Star Holiday Bazaar today. Artists, performers, crafts, raffles... it was like the Flame Tree Arts Festival without the heat. The Multipurpose Center in Susupe is a great venue for events like this. Here are some of the artists, vendors and performers, (two of whom double as bloggers).

Thanksgiving at the Khorram's

International Day at Brilliant Star

One of the highlights for our family every year is the International Day Festival at Brilliant Star. The kids all dress up in international costumes and the classes give cultural performances. Community guests are invited to perform as well. It's held on October 31, and the skies parted for three hours for the event. It's part of the goal of the school to imbue kids with a sense of global understanding. I thought it was very cool this year than many of the children, and a few of the parents dressed in costumes not of their own culture. Several of the Korean parents, in particular, were sporting Indian costumes. Our boys dressed in Thai costumes, Nava dressed in and island dress, and Jaleh in a traditional Korean costume.

Here's Arman

And Kian,

And Nava,

And Jaleh,

And some of their friends and classmates,

The Press Corps: