Guamology Interview for World Peace, a Blind Wife, and Gecko Tails

I was interviewed about my book back in 2009 by Kel Muna, a film-maker, and host of the Guamology.com website. Since then, Guamaology has gone off-line, as Kel has become busy planning the Guam International Film Festival. I enjoyed the interview, and thought I'd post it here since Guamology is no longer around.

World Peace, A Blind Wife and Gecko Tails. It's such a great title. How did you come up with it? Did you have any alternate titles before settling on your final choice?

As I was having friends review the book, I'd ask them, "What is this book about?" and the typical answer was that because the pieces covered a potpourri of subjects, the title would have to be reflective of that. I also wanted the title to be a bit intriguing and memorable. Someone suggested that many of the pieces were about world peace, so that became the opening of the title. The blind wife and gecko tails are references to specific pieces in the book. I also wanted to give reference to our tropical location, and that's why I chose "Gecko Tails" as part of the title. My first thought for a title was simply, "Thoughts from an Island".

How does it feel to know that Blind Wife is required reading for sociology students at the University of Guam, where before Blind Wife it had been Mitch Albom's "Tuesdays With Morrie"?

Honestly, I'm a bit stunned. I'm always surprised when someone tells me that something I've written is meaningful to them. I receive the reflection papers that the students write after reading the book, and it's both rewarding and humbling to know that something I've written has in some way touched someone's life. "Tuesdays with Morrie" is such a powerful book. I can't really get my head around the fact that Blind Wife has displaced it from the reading list.

I understand that Blind Wife is a compilation of all of your most popular columns from the Saipan Tribune. When and how did you come to write for the paper?

I started writing for the Tribune as a columnist in 2004. I had wanted to be more disciplined in my writing, and I felt like having a weekly deadline would help. I also am a curious person by nature, and like to pull ideas from various places, so the column provided me a place to share the things I was learning or thinking about.

When did you get the idea and interest of turning your columns into a book? How long did the process take to put the book together?

The book came about as a result of panic. About a year before it was published, I decided to take more time off from work and write a book I had been thinking about for some time. I had given a series of talks on the subject of establishing unity in communities. People told me that I should turn that into a book -- "7 Habits of Unity" or something like that. So I took time off to write this book, but really didn't have a clear idea of where I was going with it -- the tone, the audience, the purpose. And because of this uncertainty I began to have all kinds of personal doubts and misgivings while trying to write it. I spent a lot of time just staring into past my computer screen into space. After nine months, I realized that the year was coming to a close, and I had nothing to show for it, and that I'd feel like a total loser if the year ended and I hadn't published a book. So, I realized I could pull together my columns, which were already written and which had been well-received in the community, and publish them. So this book came about because I wimped out at writing the other one.

Your writing style is very easy to relate to as well as reflective. Did you have a formal education in writing?

I got the same training that we all get by virtue of going to school. I didn't take any special writing courses or workshops. But I did have some terrific teachers who taught me the value of re-writing, and the need to read your own writing out load to make sure it makes sense and that it flows. One of my comparative religion professors had a journalism degree, and he emphasized the need to write clearly for a broad audience, even in a term paper. So, I think that's where the conversational tone of my writing comes from. I also believe in being authentic. Even though at times I write about some lofty principles (like being truthful 100% of the time, or not dwelling on the faults of others, or eating well and exercising daily) I know it's difficult, because I fail with the same struggles. I try to make sure I'm conveying that I know I'm on the same human level as my reader.

How did you decide on the number of entries to include in the book? Did an editor choose for you?

I wanted to have about 50 pieces, just because it was a nice round number. I went with 52, because that's the number of weeks in a year, so it's like a year of columns.

Your writing style and reflection of topics are uplifting and the overall tone reminds me of one of my inspirations, Seth Godin, a blogger who totally thinks outside the box. What is your source for inspiration when it comes to writing your entries?

I've never really thought about this before. I think my writing is just a reflection of me, my thoughts, my surroundings and my responses to them. So, in some way, the answer to the question of what inspires my writing is the same as what inspires my life. The biggest sense of inspiration for me is a conviction that the world is moving inexorably toward a fully integrated global society, and that the social structures of old are crumbling, making way for new paradigms, and ultimately for a spiritually rooted civilization. That's what I see when I see the current economic collapse -- the collapse of a system that was not based on sound spiritual principles, and so, it's collapse provides the opportunity for a new, more holistic one, to emerge. The source of this mindset and this perspective -- this overall optimism -- is my exposure the the writings of the Baha'i Faith. Check them out. They are revolutionary both in terms of social organization and human relations, and in terms of the individuals relationship to his or her own existence. www.bahai.org.

Do you get writer's block? If so, what do you do to get over it?

I do have difficulty writing at times, but I don't like to call it "writer's block" because that phrase formalizes the simple fact that at times, everything is difficult. It turns it into a monster. I mean, there are some days I don't want to go to work, but I don't call it "worker's block". That's just an excuse to stay home. "Sorry, can't come in today. I've got worker's block." The best way to get over difficulty writing is to write. It's that simple. As one writer has succinctly phrased the remedy, "ass to chair".

If you had to choose only one favorite entry from your book which one would it be and why?

That's a little like being asked, "of all your children, which is your favorite?" Because the pieces are so diverse, can I pick a favorite from a few categories? Of the serious pieces, my favorite is "Thoughts of a Father" which is what I wrote down while awaiting a diagnosis of cancer in my six-year old son. It was a very personal piece and a very raw reflection of the horrors and doubts of such an experience. Of the humorous pieces, the one that is my, and most people's favorite is "The Relationship Between Moral Health and a Blind Wife," which depicts a Saipan scene of the pitfalls of multicultural communication. Of the medical stories, I like "Sweet Sight" which depicts the drama of a blind man regaining his sight.

Tell us about your writing process. How do you find the time to write with a busy schedule/family life?

Most of the time, I'll write about something that has been on my mind for a while. It takes time for ideas to percolate. I start the writing process inside my head. I have a loose idea of what I want to say, but it really evolves as I'm writing. The act of writing is a sort of unveiling. I'm not sure at the start how it will turn out. The interaction between the writer and the page determines the end result. The page is an active participant, molding the writer's words as they emerge. At least that's how it happens for me. When do I find the time to write? When everyone is asleep. I also write on Thursday mornings. It's my operating room day, and in the 20 or so minutes between surgical cases, I'll pause and write.

You are a very respected ophthalmologist. I'm sure you could have your choice to practice anywhere in the world, so why Saipan?

Are you kidding? Because Saipan is the greatest place in the world! I'm living on a beautiful tropical island, serving people who need and appreciate my services. I live in a community that values human relationships, where my kids are growing up without fear. What more could a person want? One of my professional goals was to work in an under-served area, which is why I left the US after I completed my training. Sometimes I think back on the life I could have had -- working in an academic medical center, teaching, publishing scientific papers -- and all the prestige that comes from that. It can be seductive, but I truly believe that I'm in the setting that gives me happiness, which is much more important, ultimately than prestige.

How big of a role does Saipan play in your writing? 
Big.

How has your experience growing up as an Iranian boy in Kentucky contributed to your unique views on life? 


I think more than anything else (and I think this is common among many immigrants), it gave me the perspective of an outsider -- of someone who had to work to fit in, to be accepted. Immigrants were rare in Appalachia when we moved there in the 60's. People didn't know how to categorize us. It was still a time of racial tension, and here was this brown family -- neither black nor white, with strange accents, strange foods, strange religion, strange names, strange strange strange. I carried that sense or having to work to just fit in around with me through my 20's. But once I left the United States, I lost that sense of being an outsider. I think the ethnic diversity of Saipan, where there is no clear majority, is unifying. People are used to people of various colors, with funny names. Here, I'm no more a stranger than anyone else, and ultimately, I imagine many parts of the world will be like Saipan -- a true mix of cultures and peoples. Growing up in rural Kentucky also gave me a sense of appreciation for small towns and tight communities, which is one of the reasons Saipan resonates with me.

What future projects of yours can we look forward to?

I'm not sure. I've been on pause in terms of writing for almost a year. I'm trying to create more space and quite time in my life, and I'm very careful about the things I undertake. I'm contemplating writing some columns again, but not with the same weekly frenzy as before. I'd also like to get back to the "7 Habits of Unity" book, but I'm in no hurry.

Is there anything else you'd like to add?

This is my first interview by a famous film-maker!

Finally,

Our version of James Lipton’s/Bernard Pivo Questions (one word, or short answers please):

What does the Chamorro culture mean to you?

Search

Who’s your favorite local artist?

Greg Elliott

Do you speak Chamorro?

Some

As a person, what turns you on?

Contentment

As a person, what turns you off?

Poverty

What’s your favorite curse word?

Booger (my kids might read this).

What sound or noise do you love?

Laughter

What sound or noise do you hate?

The sound of surgical scissors removing an eye.

What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?

Stand-up comic

What profession would you not like to attempt?

Hitman -- boss is too demanding.

If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gates?

Welcome!

On the Other Side of the Diagnosis

After reading the post about my lectures at the University of Guam, a few people have asked me, "What did you read from your book that made the students and faculty cry?" Here is the piece. Truth be told I didn't read it. Someone asked me what was the most personal piece I'd written, and if I would read it. I can never read this piece out loud, so the professor asked one of the students to read it. It's hard to believe that this all happened only a year ago.

***

Thoughts of a Father

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to wait for a diagnosis of cancer? I now know. Here are my thoughts from the first day this began last week. I think he’ll be okay.

~

My son has a 6.5 centimeter lymph node on his neck. Ultrasound shows an 11.4 centimeter spleen – huge, upper limit of normal for an adult, much less for a six-year-old child. Blood work mostly normal, no clear diagnosis, mono test results two weeks away. Thus the recommendation to biopsy. Look for cancer – lymphoma, Hodgkin’s disease, childhood death.

I held him as he screamed yesterday, the needle entering his vein, and I thought, “I hope and pray this is not the beginning.” My sweet six-year-old child, so full of life and joy and determination and creativity and enthusiasm and lost in his plans to move up from kindergarten to the elementary classroom.

We’d take him to MD Anderson or Sloan-Kettering or wherever could give him the chance for cure. Should he be taken from us, such emptiness would be left all my days. For his sister, her life a dance with his, she just two years older, a gaping emptiness. And every day I would talk to his soul beyond, and ask for his intercession on behalf of his father, for strength and patience to make it without him.

I can imagine all this, but in my heart, it has to just be an exuberant immune response to mono, right? Please? How can my child have cancer? Diverse genetic mix, mostly vegetarian diet, clear island air, no carcinogens. It’s just not possible. I try to cut a deal with God: Save my son, let this all be a lump of nothing, make it all smaller, and I promise I will be good. In however many ways that I’m not, I’ll be good.

All my personal concerns, various worries, evaporate under the heat of this lump.

I saw my friend of long ago last year at the Hawaiian Eye Conference. “How many kids do you have,” I asked. “Two,” he responded, “a twelve-year-old and a ten-year-old.” “I thought you had twins.” “We did. One died two years ago. Lymphoma.” He talked of how this trip to the conference was the first he and his wife had been able to take. There was no time to mourn two years ago. “What can you do?” he said. “You’ve got these other kids that are alive and who need you. They need your love, your presence, your joy and enthusiasm for them. So you bury one child and try to keep moving forward.”

The universe and God I do not understand. Suffering and the suffering of the innocent, I do not understand. And at times like this, I don’t try to understand, fearing my explanation

or theory may just be false placation. It’s just the way it is, and there is nothing I can do about it. Will my magical thinking help? Will the universe still respond with “your wish is my command”? Is my son any more important, just because he is mine? Thousands of despondent parents bury their children every day – death by lymphoma, or leukemia, or tuberculosis, or starvation, or war, or murder. And the world just keeps going on. I just keep going on, thinking about me, my concerns, my pursuits, my hopes, oblivious of their pain and the fragments of their broken hearts. Why would I be so special as to receive my request from the universe, from God? I feel reticent even to ask.

Over the last few years when death would come up in conversations (your great-great grandmother died, Duke died, the cat died), Arman has so often said, “I’m scared to die, I don’t want to die alone, can you die with me, Dad?” We realized he thinks that the next world is in the ground, somehow related to the grave. “How will we be able to see each other if we get buried in different holes?”

For most of the day, I’m just doing something else. I look up from my work, and wonder what it was that was causing my anxiety? Briefly forgotten. And the knowledge rushes in, pushes the fragile calm out, my tears well up, and I sob.

(Published in World Peace, a Blind Wife, and Gecko Tails, by David Khorram, MD)

Lectures at University of Guam

I just returned for two days in Guam. I had been invited to lecture at University of Guam by Professor Kirk Johnson. His Introduction to Sociology classes have been reading my book. I spent Monday afternoon at the UOG library preparing my thoughts, and as I sat there, surrounded by students and books, I thought it could be exciting to work in academia -- people seeking knowledge, exchanging ideas, working to change the world, mentoring one another. That stuff excites me. But on Tuesday morning reality sank it. I enjoyed my first lecture to about 50 students. The students were engaged, asked questions, wrote down their thoughts, laughed at my jokes. At the end of the hour and a half, I signed their copies of the book. Then, after a 10 minute break, another 50 students came in, and I had to give the same lecture all over again. I was exhausted by the end. I didn't anticipate that the "exchange of ideas" would require back to back identical lectures on any given day of the week.

The evening made up for it though. Kirk had read some of my essays from the book to his upper level class on Community Development and Globalization. These fifteen students gathered at the home of Dianne Strong, a retired UOG English professor, and they were joined by members of the faculty in the fields of anthropology, archeology, psychology, and library science. We sat outside, overlooking the Pacific, and since no one had read the book, I talked a bit about what motivated me to write it, and I read some of the essays. I was truly humbled by the response. People laughed at the humorous pieces, and cried (even bawled) at the more personal ones. It still amazes me that anything that I write is of meaning to someone else, and to see this response from the students and especially the faculty was very moving.

Books are Here!

After spending three months floating in the Pacific Ocean, 200 copies of my book arrived on Saipan yesterday. They are available for purchase on Saipan here.

If your name is on this list, send me a quick email to check if your copy is ready for pick up.

Jake Shimabukuro Concert

I saw Jake a few years ago when he was here, and it was a phenomenal evening. (I wrote about it in my book.) This a concert you don't want to miss. He's one of the biggest entertainers in the world. He's in Melbourne next week playing at the music festival there, and he was on Conan O'Brien recently. Marianas Eye Institute is one of the sponsors of this concert... see, right there by Jake's left foot.

Book Blog

I don't know how to make a website, so I set up a blog for the book I've written. I've tried to design it like a website. There you can read the first few pages of the book, which include all the blurbs, the foreword and the introduction.

Amazon is setting up the "Search Inside This Book" feature on their website, but it apparently takes six weeks. In the meantime, a little bit of World Peace, a Blind Wife, and Gecko Tails is available by clicking on the title.

Is your name on this list?

My book has been published and has been available on Amazon for a couple of months. I just got my first piece of fan mail from Cindy in Virginia. Thanks, Cindy. I figured I'd put a link to Amazon on my blog.

I ordered 200 copies for distribution on Saipan, but they are on the slowest boat ever. It's been over eight weeks, and they are still not here. Hopefully, they'll arrive within the next couple of weeks.

I'm planning on giving a copy to all the people who helped in one way or another. If your name is on this list, you have a gift copy coming from me.

Jayvee Vallajera, Frances Demapan, Carol Danelius, Houdin Dehnad, James Oh, David Yamartino, Sarah Johnson, Anne Erhard, Mark Robertson, Cinta Kaipat, Walt Goodridge, Randy Clark, Jeff Turbitt, Senator Maria Pangelinan, Jeff Schorr, Bob Coldeen, Michael Ernest, Angelo Villagomez, Jaleh Slominski, Ed Propst, Annette Donner, Don Bader, Bud Carroll, Robert T. Torres, Joseph Kevin Villagomez, Kirk Johnson, Velin Saramov, and Daniel Lamar.

If your name is Oprah, and if you contact me, I'll send you a copy too.

I wish I had gotten copies before JP passed away.

World Peace, a Blind Wife, and Gecko Tails

My book is about four weeks away from being released. It will be listed on Amazon, and I've already had an advance order for 160 copies that will be used in a university sociology class. Book mark my blog, or send me an email, and I'll let you know when it's released.

Here is the description from the back cover:

Award-winning columnist and Mariana Islands eye surgeon, David Khorram, brings together the most popular pieces from his Saipan Tribune column, Better Living. Whether exploring the spiritual side of prosperity, describing the raw joy of someone regaining sight, or recounting the humor of an island phone call, Dr. Khorram manages to reach the mind, the heart and the funny-bone. With this book in hand, expect to laugh out loud and to ponder life's big questions.

"I use this book, along with Tuesday's with Morrie, to give my students something meaningful to read."

Kirk Johnson, PhD, University of Guam

"Intelligent, compassionate, thoughtful and wise, David brings gentle humor to higher thinking. A joy to read, his insights offer a rich model for living well."

Senator Maria Frica T. Pangelinan
15th Northern Marianas Legislature

"Somewhere inside David Khorram's head, three wise men have collided with the Three Stooges."

Lt Cmdr Randy Clark, retired
United States Coast Guard

"Dr. Khorram shares glimpses of life that bemuse and inspire. This delightful medley entertains us while opening our eyes to the bigger picture of what it means to be human."

Daniel Lamar, MD

"Consider this the Chicken Soup for the Soul of Micronesia."

Bob Coldeen, Author of Bumps in Paradise

DAVID KHORRAM, MD. As a young eye surgeon, Dr. David Khorram left the offers awaiting him in American's leading medical centers, and boarded a plane for the South Pacific, never to return. Starting in exotic Pago Pago, David has traveled, worked and lectured in villages, hospitals and huts throughout the Pacific. As a writer, he is the recipient of a Governor's Humanities Award. The founder of Marianas Eye Institute, Dr. Khorram is listed in Guide to America's Top Ophthalmologists. David, his wife Mara, and their four energetic children live on the island of Saipan, in the Marianas archipelago.

Book Cover Completed!

Here it is! The designers have completed work on the cover of my new book, "World Peace, a Blind Wife, and Gecko Tails." I'm very happy with it. I though the designers were very creative to depict a fairly complex title. The next step is the interior layout design, and then printing. I was hoping it would be out by Thanksgiving, but it looks like it will be a bit later.