Monday, May 7, 2007

The Benevolence of the Universe

Arman continues to improve, with the lumps on his neck decreasing in size. That's very reassuring, and I'm 98% sure that there is no further cause for concern. The 2% uncertainty is there just for superstitious reasons -- you never want to say you're 100% sure. I didn't get a chance to get him in for his spleen ultrasound this afternoon because of things going on with the other kids, but tomorrow I'll take him in, mostly for reassurance.

I've been thinking of the distress I went through this week, and all the support from this great community. It's been amazing.

I've always been a skeptical sort of person, and I've been working on being more receptive to the benevolence of the universe, the absence of coincidence. A year ago, I would have probably concluded, "See, it was only a virus. All this worry was for nothing." But now, I really do feel that in the beginning it was bad. That lump was so big, and so hard, and there is still no explanation for it. And it's somehow melting away, contrary to all reason. I'm chalking up the return of the life of my son to the benevolence of the universe. All of you had something to do with that. Thank-you.

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