Thursday, October 4, 2007

This is Sick.

You can now hire a lying service. No kidding. Here is some of the text from the "Alibi Network." It blows my mind how nonchalantly this is all portrayed.

Alibi Network is a cutting edge full service agency providing alibis and excused absences as well as assistance with a variety of sensitive issues. We view ourselves as professional advisors who understand our clients’ unique situations. We explore various approaches with our clients and implement the best solution based on each individual case. We understand your need for privacy and we are completely discreet and confidential.

We all encounter sensitive situations in our life. These may include family problems, social issues, work or financial difficulties. When you don’t want to involve your close friends and relatives for privacy reasons it is time to contact Alibi Network. Let us be your Privacy Partners.

We Understand The Delicacy of Real World Personal relations and can help you solve any sensitive problems and situations resulting from them.

Have questions about their specific services? Well, these guys are good at deception in all its forms. Here's a few of their services. I'm speechless.

Virtual Employment
Are you embarrassed to be unemployed? Do you have a critical life situation that requires you to have a job? Would you like to create an impression that you have your dream job? With your own virtual office, executive assistant and business cards?

Rescue Call Services
The phone call from us to communicate any information you desire or to help you escape any situations such as dull meetings, bad dates or other unnecessary commitments that need to be cut short or cancelled.

Having a Discreet Affair?
We invent, create and provide customized alibis and excuses for attached adults involved in discreet relationships.

Virtual Hotel Service
Toll free or local virtual hotel number answered by a virtual front desk clerk 24 hours a day. The operator will greet a caller with the appropriate hotel greeting message and will handle the call according to the instructions.

Virtual Seminar/Training:
We offer a solid and a carefully constructed 2 to 5 days alibi package for our clients who are comfortable with the idea of going to a training/seminar.


bradinthesand said...

totally sick. well, maybe not! too bad i'm semi-reformed now...

actually, i was never shady about my social calendar anyway.

Saipan Writer said...

It's not a hoax? Because it has that funny-as-hell side to it if it is. And if it's not--well, I'm speechless.

Bruce A. Bateman said...

Sounds like a new government agency. This could transfer from a small private business into a vast bureaucratic network in no time. The Department of Misinformation. Perfect.

Mike said...

Sounds like it treads pretty close to wire fraud to me.

marianas life said...

check out the movie 'lies and alibies' very funny!!!